So why does Paul, starting in verse 8 give such specific guidance to men and women, concerning gatherings for prayer? Here’s why: because God wants all people to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth, and Paul wants all believers to live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. Paul is concerned to see people become faithful and growing disciples of Jesus. He wants to see people formed at the core of their being so that their prayers, their lives, the clothes they wear, even how they relate to each other as men and women, will display that they were changed by the character of Jesus Christ.
I will admit to you that I do not know exactly what Paul means in his instruction to women in verses 9-12. But what I do know is that Paul wants all of us — both men and women — to become more like Jesus all the way down.
I do believe there are ways our natural sin patterns tend to work themselves out in the way we relate to each other. I also believe there are cultural assumptions about manhood and womanhood that play off against our sin patterns and lead us to further confusion. The first instruction Paul gives is to men. There are essentially two parts to his instruction. Paul is calling men to (1) Pray, and (2) do it without anger or quarreling.
While I cannot generalize from myself to all men, I can tell you that when things at church are not going my way, I have a tendency to resort to anger. And when that anger comes to fruition, I can disengage and leave. As a man, Paul is calling me to lean in — don’t run away. Show up and pray with other believers at worship. And when I am tempted in those relationships to resort to anger and quarreling, I am called to have humility and consider others as more important than myself (Phil. 2:3), I am called to cover many things with love (1Pet. 4:8), and if I have to confront something, I am called to confront in a desire to restore (Matthew 18). God is calling me to act in relation to other believers at prayer in a way that runs counter to what I feel is comfortable, wether it is a matter of sin, or of cultural assumptions. Men, perhaps you feel that pinch in this text too.
The text also challenges men to set aside anger and quarreling in the way they exercise leadership. Men who are called to be pastors should not default to or lead from anger. Rather, men are called to pray with Paul that all would come to know the truth, we are called to desire with God that all people would be saved. Anger and quarreling leads to a kind of leadership that Jesus denies to his disciples. In Matthew 25:25-26, Jesus forbids his disciples to rule and exercise authority, but rather to become a servant.
To women, Paul encourages modesty, humility, and forbids the taking or usurping of authority over men. Paul speaks to women, here, I believe because there are unique ways that women are tempted to be proud, immodest, and to grasp at authority. As I hope I’ve demonstrated above, Paul’s exhortations to women are not unlike his corresponding expectations to men. And Paul’s citation of Adam and Eve show that these temptations for men and for women date all the way back to the fall.
What will happen if men show up for gathered worship with humility and love instead of anger and quarreling? What will happen when women show up with humility and love instead of pride and quarreling? In that case we would have a congregation characterized by the love of Christ. The world will know we are Christians by the love we have for one another (John 13:35). They will know we are a church that lives in the unity of the spirit and the bond of peace. When we relate to each other with humility and love, then the world will be able to see that Jesus was sent to be our salvation (John 17:21)
And that is the stated goal of the Holy Spirit, speaking through the words of Paul in verses 1-4. Paul wants believers to live lives that look increasingly like Jesus. Why? So that believers may demonstrate to the world that God wants them all to be saved and know the truth.
Questions of manhood and womanhood are all too often presented as arguments for what men can do and what women can’t do. But I believe truly biblical manhood and womanhood will show us new and faithful ways to love each other and build each other up, for the sake of our families, our churches, and then ultimately for the sake of our neighbors.
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- I think the first and less central question has to do with manhood and womanhood, and the roles and responsibilities and relationships they have with each other in the church and the home. I think there is a proper place to address these things, even based on this passage. But I think those are implications of this passage, and not its central idea. When we do address that topic, though, we also need to account for implications of other texts as well, including Paul’s commendation of Phoebe, a deacon of the church in Cenchreae, and a member of the delegation sent from Paul to Rome. We also have to account for the passage on ordination in 1 Timothy 3, as well as the nature of the various actions that belong to the office of ministry.
Today’s Reading: Psalm 37, 1Timothy 2, Numbers 10, 2Chronicles 20, Lamentations 1
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