In Mark 10:1-12, On a trip from Capernaum to Judea, Jesus is
confronted by a group of religious leaders who ask him about the
legality of divorce. They were trying to trap Jesus into agreeing with
one side or the other of an issue that was controversial even then,
either alienating the conservative party or the liberal party of the
Religious Court. They wanted to trap him politically so he might
possibly meet the same fate as John the Baptist--who criticized Herod's
divorce and remarriage.
Hardness of Heart
Jesus skillfully identifies the reason Moses permitted divorce in the
law—hardness of heart. This condition often undermines the trust, love,
and respect essential for a healthy marriage. Hardness of heart leads
to emotional disconnection, resentment, bitterness, shutting down,
giving the silent treatment, self-justification, and spiritual drift. We
must reflect on our own relationships and marriages, examining if there
are grievances or unforgiveness in our hearts. Ask yourself: Are you
holding onto bitterness towards your spouse? Take proactive steps to
soften your heart through prayer, counseling, or open communication. God
desires our hearts to be tender and loving, reflecting His love for us.
As a result, we should practice kindness, address conflicts
proactively, and take responsibility for our actions. Husbands,
especially, lead in this effort. Let’s strive to overcome hardness and
embrace healing in our marriages.
Misunderstanding of Marriage
The religious leaders’ focus on the legality of divorce reflects a
fundamental misunderstanding of marriage. Their emphasis reveals a
failure to uphold the sanctity and permanence of marriage as God
intended. According to the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:32, marriage is
meant to reflect the relationship between Jesus and the Church. Marriage
is intended to preach the Gospel—God’s lifelong divine covenant with
us. The grace in marriage is that two sinners to work out saving grace,
offering love and acceptance despite each other’s faults—despite how
you've hurt each other. Marriage becomes a workshop for repentance and
faith.
Adultery and Infidelity
Jesus’ teaching underscores the high ideal of marriage that is
reflected in our marriage vows: "Will you have this person to be your
husband or wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you
love them, comfort them, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health;
and, forsaking all others, be faithful to them as long as you both
shall live?"
This is a comprehensive promise, and when you make it, you give
yourself to someone making the same promise. In a sense, we all fail to
keep it. But when we do, we have to turn, fall on our faces, repent, and
renew our vows—even every day.
And that's why, Jesus says, when the marriage vow is broken so
egregiously by adultery or being unfaithful, divorce is given as a
protection for the betrayed spouse. The Apostle Paul extends these
protections to situations involving abandonment or abuse (1 Cor
7:12-15). If marriage is about the gospel, then such deep violations of
the marriage covenant are a betrayal of God.
Turn to Jesus
Despite the challenges and failures that may arise, Jesus' teaching
offers hope for healing and renewal in marriage. Embrace the grace of
repentance and strive to restore and nurture your relationship. By
actively working to soften your heart and uphold the sanctity of
marriage, you reflect God's enduring love and commitment.
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Photo by Alex Green from Pexels.
Recommended Reading:
Tim Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
