Restoring the Heart of Marriage: Embracing God's Design for Lasting Love

In Mark 10:1-12, On a trip from Capernaum to Judea, Jesus is confronted by a group of religious leaders who ask him about the legality of divorce. They were trying to trap Jesus into agreeing with one side or the other of an issue that was controversial even then, either alienating the conservative party or the liberal party of the Religious Court. They wanted to trap him politically so he might possibly meet the same fate as John the Baptist--who criticized Herod's divorce and remarriage.

Hardness of Heart

Jesus skillfully identifies the reason Moses permitted divorce in the law—hardness of heart. This condition often undermines the trust, love, and respect essential for a healthy marriage. Hardness of heart leads to emotional disconnection, resentment, bitterness, shutting down, giving the silent treatment, self-justification, and spiritual drift. We must reflect on our own relationships and marriages, examining if there are grievances or unforgiveness in our hearts. Ask yourself: Are you holding onto bitterness towards your spouse? Take proactive steps to soften your heart through prayer, counseling, or open communication. God desires our hearts to be tender and loving, reflecting His love for us. As a result, we should practice kindness, address conflicts proactively, and take responsibility for our actions. Husbands, especially, lead in this effort. Let’s strive to overcome hardness and embrace healing in our marriages.

Misunderstanding of Marriage

The religious leaders’ focus on the legality of divorce reflects a fundamental misunderstanding of marriage. Their emphasis reveals a failure to uphold the sanctity and permanence of marriage as God intended. According to the apostle Paul in Ephesians 5:32, marriage is meant to reflect the relationship between Jesus and the Church. Marriage is intended to preach the Gospel—God’s lifelong divine covenant with us. The grace in marriage is that two sinners to work out saving grace, offering love and acceptance despite each other’s faults—despite how you've hurt each other. Marriage becomes a workshop for repentance and faith.

Adultery and Infidelity

Jesus’ teaching underscores the high ideal of marriage that is reflected in our marriage vows: "Will you have this person to be your husband or wife, to live together in the covenant of marriage? Will you love them, comfort them, honor and keep them, in sickness and in health; and, forsaking all others, be faithful to them as long as you both shall live?"

This is a comprehensive promise, and when you make it, you give yourself to someone making the same promise. In a sense, we all fail to keep it. But when we do, we have to turn, fall on our faces, repent, and renew our vows—even every day.

And that's why, Jesus says, when the marriage vow is broken so egregiously by adultery or being unfaithful, divorce is given as a protection for the betrayed spouse. The Apostle Paul extends these protections to situations involving abandonment or abuse (1 Cor 7:12-15). If marriage is about the gospel, then such deep violations of the marriage covenant are a betrayal of God.

Turn to Jesus

Despite the challenges and failures that may arise, Jesus' teaching offers hope for healing and renewal in marriage. Embrace the grace of repentance and strive to restore and nurture your relationship. By actively working to soften your heart and uphold the sanctity of marriage, you reflect God's enduring love and commitment.

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Photo by Alex Green from Pexels.

Recommended Reading:

Tim Keller and Kathy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God

Faith overcoming unbelief

Mark 9:23-24 (NLT) "'What do you mean, ‘If I can’?' Jesus asked. 'Anything is possible if a person believes.' The father instantly cried out, 'I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!'"

In Mark 9:23-24, Jesus teaches us a powerful lesson about faith. When a father seeking healing for his son expresses doubt, Jesus responds with a bold statement: "Anything is possible if a person believes." This promise encourages us to exercise faith in God's power, even when we face seemingly insurmountable challenges.

The father's honest plea, "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief," resonates with many of us. It acknowledges that while we have faith, we also struggle with doubts. This transparency is key to growing our faith. Jesus does not condemn the father's doubt; instead, He heals his son, demonstrating that God honors even imperfect faith.

Today, take a moment to reflect on areas in your life where you need God's intervention. Approach Him with the same honesty as the father in this passage. Pray, "Lord, I believe; help me overcome my unbelief." Trust that God understands your struggles and is ready to strengthen your faith.

Remember, faith is not about having no doubts; it's about choosing to trust God despite them. As you exercise your faith, you will witness God's power and grace in ways you never imagined. Believe that with God, all things are possible. Seek His help in overcoming unbelief, and watch your faith grow stronger day by day.

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Recommended Resource: Trusting God by Jerry Bridges

A Simple Order for Daily Prayer

Opening Scripture Sentence

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. (Psalm 19:14)

Psalm 51

Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. (Psalm 51:1-12)

Daily Bible Reading

The Apostles' Creed

I believe in God, the Father almighty, creator of heaven and earth. I believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. He was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the Virgin Mary. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried. He descended to the dead. On the third day he rose again. He ascended into heaven, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again to judge the living and the dead. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy catholic Church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting. Amen.

The Lord's Prayer

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we also forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. (Matthew 6:9-13)

Prayers and Thanksgivings

Here, you may offer your own intercessions and thanksgivings.

The Grace

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with us all. Amen. (2 Corinthians 13:14)